a memoir of the past 3-ish years with you (heads up its kinda sad)
also i made u this playlist so u can listen while u read but ur so obsessed with me that u probably already found it xD
back when i was just a stupid little girl playing criminality with grown men, id occasionally see your name floating around in their friends lists. u always looked so cool and i wanted to be ur friend like rly bad. but then it happened. for some reason, you actually wanted to be friends with the weird immature femcel and do things with her.
when i first started talking to u, i could immediately tell that u were different. u werent like cap or rhys or luca or any of those weirdos, u were special. u were nice, funny, smart, talented, good at the game, and rly cute. and it wasnt long before our short occasional calls every now and then turned into us hanging out almost all the time. but ofc, this came with its consequences.
cap noticed that i was spending way more time with you than with him, and for good reason. unlike him, you didn't just go afk and watch shitty youtube videos for hours when you were upset with me. you actually gave me attention and communicated with me when i made mistakes. but cap got very jelly of us and essentially ghosted me in a fit of rage. our dumb little discord friend group was starting to get torn apart, and a handful of people sided with cap and left us alongside him. but losing these people was a sacrifice i was willing to make because it meant i got to be with you.
from there, time began to pass very quickly. while we did become closer with eachother, it started to feel like i was trapped in a loop that prevented me from actually having any real significance to you. you always wanted to talk to new people and honestly a lot of the time it felt like you enjoyed the presence of the random people you met on roblox/discord over mine. i felt like you were getting bored of me and were gonna replace me with someone cooler and funnier just like everyone else ive ever gotten close with. my biggest fear was losing you. hmmm this sounds familiar
but despite everything, you didnt. you stayed right by my side. shit happened, yet we still stuck together. and thats what separated you from everybody else. you didnt leave me over some stupid drama and we both tolerated each others retarded behavior. eventually we got tired of the brainless entertainment we constantly consumed, so we stopped talking to all of the stupid people and began to focus more on eachother. and i think thats when we both realized that we had a genuine connection.
as we started hanging out with less and less people, our calls became a lot more private. you started telling me the more personal details about your life, the secrets you wouldn't tell to anyone else. i could tell that you had so much bottled up emotion and i really wanted you to become comfortable enough to let it out around me. and im pretty sure thats when i started exploring my sexuality and developing feelings for you.
around this time, you also began questioning your identity. you clearly didn't want to be a boy, but you weren't sure if you wanted to become a girl. i kinda feel like i pressured you into going down that path, but in the end it didn't really matter because you shortly fell in love with the idea of being a woman. and i wanted to support you on your journey as much as i could.
so i started teaching you girl stuff. i tried my best to teach you how to be one, even tho im not a very good role model. and thats when i became so obsessed with you. the idea of being in a relationship with a pretty girl like you was all i could think about. and we just got closer and closer. id start getting flirty with you, and you fucking loved it. i could tell it was pretty hard for you to flirt back, but i thought ur shyness was really cute. eventually we both couldnt take it anymore and just confessed how we felt about eachother. that brings us to where we are now.
milo, you are the only girl in the world that ive ever truly loved. like i just want you to be mine forever. i tried to make this as sincere as possible because i dont want this to just come off as some cheesy teen romance, i genuinely want you to be my wife until the end of time. and im so eternally grateful that ive gotten to be with you for so long and do all these new things with you. i actually cannot wait to experience life with you. i love you milo. ♡
sorry that was a mouthful and u probably just skimmed thru it anyways. either way ilysm milo ur the best girlfriend ever :D
love u,
mel♡
